Why Do They Do it That Way?

Have you thought, “Why do they do it that way? It makes no sense!” Is it a recurring thought about specific people? It might be your child, spouse, boss, colleague, or friend.

You may wonder, why does she have to create a detailed plan for everything? Let’s just wing it and see what happens. Or, it could be, does he have to think and think and think about everything before making a decision? Get on with it! Or, maybe it’s, you are so out there – talking to everyone, just be appropriate, for once!

Each of those examples is a snippet about Life Energies and it explains much of why they do it that way. It’s much like the operating system (OS) of a computer, in that our Life Energies run in the background and determine how we see things and take action. The tricky part is when you have a relationship with someone who has a different Life Energy than you do. It doesn’t matter if it’s at work, at home, or out and about in the world. Their process may seem completely foreign to you.

Here’s a very basic primer about Life Energies with a link to more info. We have all three energies and one is usually primary, the one that influences how we communicate and take in information. It’s our OS.

  • Aliveness Life Energy – enthusiastic, spontaneous, open, intense, vibrant, and creates starts to get movement
  • Truth Life Energy – attentive, observant, gentle, quiet, driven by meaning, and wants times of solitude
  • Workability Life Energy – focused, productive, organized, reliable, and loves the satisfaction of completion

When we don’t recognize the basic differences of Life Energies, we often set ourselves up for misunderstandings. For example, you offer an employee a promotion and they say that they have to think about it. Your internal response may be, “They must not want the job. What’s to think about? Maybe I offered this to the wrong person.” What’s going on is that they have Truth Life Energy and have to consider and think about everything. It’s part of how they process information. It’s not personal. And, it’s why they do things the way they do!

When my son was little I would say, “Let’s go, it’s time for preschool.” He would respond, “I have to put my toys away!” My Aliveness mind’s reaction was, “Really???!!! Let’s go, we’ll do it later.” However, because he has Workability Life Energy, he wanted things to be organized and put away. No, it isn’t OCD, it was simply his Workability OS. (full transparency, there were many times, especially in his teen years that putting things away was not a high priority)

Or, you may have a friend who says, “Let’s drive to St. Louis today for lunch. I heard about a great place for ribs.” You may be thinking, “Are you crazy, that’s three hours away!” People with Aliveness Life Energy are up for an experience, an adventure and they don’t see anything wrong with a spur of the moment drive, three hours away, for lunch.

Others baffle us and often irritate us. However, upon closer inspection, you often will find that it’s simply a Life Energy miss. They think, react and respond differently than you. When you recognize those differences you may still be baffled, but you can let down your judgment about it and instead think, “Oh, that’s how they do things.” It opens up space for the relationship, whether you are at work or at home. In retrospect, when have you been baffled or irritated by someone only now to recognize that they simply have a different Life Energy?

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