Many of you know the fictional character, Grenelda Thurman. For those of you who are new to Grenelda, here’s the scoop. She is the one who is living your life when you aren’t paying attention. She was fully active in my life this weekend!
Last night I made chocolate chip cupcakes and when I took them out of the oven I turned off the timer. I then put in our dinner and let it cook for about 40 minutes. When I checked to see if it was done I realized that I had not only turned off the timer, but had also turned off the oven and our dinner hadn’t cooked at all! Now, if I had been fully present I would never have turned off the oven, it must have been Grenelda!
The funny thing is that I didn’t even think of Grenelda last night and spent at least 30 minutes feeling bad that I had turned off the oven and made everyone wait for dinner. No one was upset that we were eating later and no one cared that I had turned off the oven. I was the only one who was judging myself. If I had remembered Grenelda I could have gotten through that judging much more quickly.
The reason that I’m telling this story is that we can spend time making ourselves feel bad about something we have or have not done and it really doesn’t serve us. I think part of this whole judging ourselves thing is the mistaken belief that if we feel guilty enough then that shows how remorseful we are. Just think how differently it would have been for me if I had said, “Yikes, I turned the oven off when I thought I turned the timer off and dinner is going to be 40 minutes late.” And, then let it go and done something else rather that revisiting the whole, “I can’t believe I did that” scenario over and over.
The outcome was the same whether I felt bad about it the whole time or declared “oops” and went on to the next thing. When we can recognize that Grenelda has stepped in it allows us to realize that we have become distracted and allows us also to lighten up about it. We get awake in our life rather than letting our life live itself around us.
I haven’t been in a tailspin like that for awhile so I’m glad that I remembered Grenelda today. It was a weekend of Grenelda moments, including a trip home from breakfast with a friend that should have taken 30 minutes and took 60 minutes. It wasn’t weather related, simply one goofy turn after another – an exit ramp that was closed, the next street blocked by police because of who knows what, a road that had many twists and turns and then a major intersection with a flashing red light so all 30 cars ahead of me had to stop, rather than flow with a green light. Good thing I could laugh about that because it felt like I was never going to make it home.
When has Grenelda or her husband, Herman, popped into your life lately? Were you able to cut yourself some slack or did you spend time berating yourself? Think about how it would have been different if you had recognized quickly that you weren’t paying attention and then let it go. Interestingly, the eventual outcome is the same and when you can wake up and let go of your self judgments you can get into the flow of your life more quickly. I would love to hear your Grenelda and Herman Thurman stories.
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