If

“If” is a tiny word that packs a lot of power. It can stop us cold or it can lead to exploration. Have you ever had any thoughts like these? If I get this promotion, then I will be successful. If I fit into these skinny jeans, then I’ll look good enough to find that perfect someone. If I figure it all out, then I will be happy. If I am successful enough, then they will like me.

The problem with this type of if-then thinking is that we stop ourselves from moving forward in our life. We put things on hold until everything lines up perfectly before we let ourselves be happy or fulfilled.

Another context for “if” is “what if?” What if can send us into the tailspin of worry when we frame things like this. What if my child doesn’t get into the right college? What if I don’t land that next big deal? What if it rains and spoils the (you fill in the blank)? We often have the mistaken belief that if we worry enough about something that we will change the outcome or ward off the thing that we fear happening. What does happen is that we shut ourselves down and make ourselves feel worse, leading us away from actions we could take.

“What if” can also be used as a jumping off place for exploration and expansion. What if we tried X to solve the problem? What if I reversed the steps in the process, would it improve production? What if I let myself enjoy life?

Another way that we use “if” is with “if only” which is similar to “if –then.” If only things were different I would be happy. If only I didn’t have to work at this crummy job I could do what I really want to do. If only I wasn’t so busy I would have more time with my family. The implication is that when things change you will be able to do what you want or live your life more fully.

What if this week you looked at the power of “if” to expand and explore? What if you let yourself jump into the next project without reservation? What if you decided that you weren’t going to let yourself be slowed down by those things that have been worrying you or stopping you? What if you embraced possibilities and took action that led you closer to the very thing you would like to change? Notice if you are limiting yourself or creating possibilities? Are  you using ‘if” as a springboard for taking control and letting yourself move forward, no matter what? How is this tiny word showing up in your life?