There are so many ways to handle the unexpected and some serve us well and others not at all. We have those “go to” ways of dealing with surprises. For some of us it’s to add drama, for others it’s to get really quiet and go inside, and for yet others it’s time to kick into high gear and do something, really anything that might fix the perceived problem. The question we can ask ourselves is “Does the way I handle the unexpected serve me or could I explore other ways of reacting?”
Unexpected things come in many forms. Sometimes the unexpected is a really nice little treat, like a call from a friend you haven’t heard from in a long time. Sometimes the unexpected is startling, like a friend having been in an accident or having a major health crisis. The unexpected may come in the form of a layoff from your job. No matter the source, how do you react? How would you like to respond? I deliberately used two different words in those questions. I find a difference between reacting and responding even though they are used to define each other when you look them up in the dictionary. It seems to me that reacting is more emotional and responding is more intentional. So, in that context, when you receive the unexpected what is your modus operandi?
There is no right or wrong way to handle the unexpected. In different circumstances you may react or respond differently. If you notice that you are feeling agitated or angry those might be signals that you might want to explore other options. I am not suggesting that you never feel anger or agitation. What I am suggesting is that you look at how those emotions serve you, or not.
Having Aliveness life energy, I often react quickly with emotion. I am becoming more adept at recognizing those reactions and allowing myself to step back and see how I would like to actually respond. I step away from the drama going on in my mind, take a few deep breaths, and quiet my mind. And, yes, sometimes that process takes awhile. However, when I recognize the reaction and then settle into a response, I find that I am more able to go with the flow or to make decisions that align with what I really want.
Consider the difference between the reactions of “Oh my gosh, this is horrible, the worst thing that could have happened!” and “OK, I”m not liking this and now what am I going to do?” Sometimes we get caught in the drama, the injustice, the emotion of an event and can’t see how we could shift things. How do you respond to the unexpected? Does it work for you? If not, what might you do differently?
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