Here is a piece of writing I did a while back as I was waiting at a tire shop for a tire to be repaired. Yes, I do carry paper and pen with me everywhere I go! The writing is in journal form and I haven’t changed any of the tenses. So welcome into a glimpse of the inner workings of my mind.
I was sitting here reading, as was the other woman waiting. Then she got up and turned on the TV, which isn’t what I would have preferred, but her choice. Then she sat back down and continued to read. I would love to ask her why she turned on the TV if she wasn’t going to watch it. It is so distracting!
So, my lesson is how to shift my judgments and get to neutral. My judgment is that she is inconsiderate and self-absorbed. It could be all sorts of things – a habit, that she always has to have the background noise of a TV, that she feels vulnerable in silence, or who knows what. I’m pretty sure it doesn’t have anything to do with me. Maybe there is something she wanted to watch – well, her car is ready so I could turn it off, but I don’t see the remote.
Maybe it was coincidental that when she got up to get something new to read that the guy at the counter used a remote to turn it on. That is the more likely scenario. It’s interesting how I was sure she had a remote in her hand. But, since there isn’t one anywhere in sight, it was likely something else. And, that’s how inaccurate eyewitnesses are. Two events occurred simultaneously and I connected them with a story that seemed real.
As I shift from thinking she turned it on and was clueless to this is part of the routine here I feel less agitated. However, the issue is that either way – how I feel is dependent upon how I interpret what others are doing – I judged that woman and I accepted the routine of this facility. The precipitating event is the same (the TV being turned on) and the only difference is my reaction to the event.
I find this very interesting because it is such a great example of how our judgments affect us. And, in this instance, the event – the TV on – still is annoying (yikes, another judgment). It is so invasive and certainly not anything I would turn on – it’s the morning news – going from one bad news story to another. I am not sure why people listen to this over and over throughout the day. I guess that’s yet another judgment on my part.
I think I may be winding down. The lesson is to mind my mind – not letting things fall below interesting. I often am so quick to judge and assign specific meaning to things I observe. It’s good to notice again.
Well, that is what I wrote about my day at the tire shop. I know I have written often about our judgments and it is interesting when we begin to notice them. Some days we are like little judgment making machines. The fewer judgments you have, the larger space you have to live your life, not someone else’s. What judgments have you noticed today?
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