This may only resonate with a few of you, but I wanted to share it anyway. It was a powerful reminder for me. The other day I was meeting a friend for lunch. I looked online for restaurant ideas since neither of us were familiar with the area. I found a review for a cafe that sounded interesting and it was near her new job. I sent her the address and printed out a map for myself.
Now here’s where it starts to get interesting. Her GPS couldn’t find the address nor could anyone she asked direct her to the cafe. When she called to tell me she couldn’t find the cafe I tried to explain how I got there, but this is construction season so it was a bit circuitous. I tried calling her back to have a person at the cafe talk her in, but it went straight to voicemail.
Here comes the aha! When I was sitting there my mind got into it – I should have picked a different restaurant, this one was too hard to find, with all of the construction it doesn’t even look like this block is open, she’s not going to have time to order and get back to work, maybe I should guess what she’d like and order it so she’ll have time to eat. And, on and on for several minutes. Then I stopped myself and thought that it’s not for me to fix nor could I have foreseen this dilemma. I let it go, laughed at myself, and ordered some lunch. After about 10 minutes she called back – finally getting reception again – and decided to go back to work because she still couldn’t find me and her lunch time was nearing the end.
How often do you take responsibility for fixing something when it’s not your job or there’s really nothing to fix? Do you feel guilty when something doesn’t go as planned and then feel that you should have or could have done something differently? My reaction was a sneaky one and I didn’t even recognize it right away. Lately I’ve been more aware of how I try to fix things, especially for other people. I am learning to let them go and allow the other person to find their own course. That was my lesson for the week. What is your lesson?
Cindy, Just want you to know that I really enjoy your insights. This one on being a fixer upper hit home, and the one on connections, too. And the one today on being kind to myself. That negative self talk is getting so boring!! Thanks for sharing. I feel blessed when I read your thoughts.
Thank you for sharing your aha’s. I, too get bored sometimes with my own negative self talk. Here’s to being kind to ourselves!