Well, I got your attention with the title of this blog post! I got a new stove last week, just 2 days before Thanksgiving because my old stove croaked. One would think that a gas stove is a gas stove is a gas stove. Not true. The only thing that is the same is that my old stove and new stove are powered by gas. I am learning which burners to use for which types of cooking – one is a super charged burner and one is a simmer burner. My old stove had four burners that all did the same thing. I knew where to turn the knobs to have the heat at half power or simmer. With this new stove I have to learn which position of the knob correlates with the amount of flame I want for cooking. Also, with my old stove, I knew that I had to set it 25 degrees higher than the recipe called for because the oven was 25 degrees off. Now I’m learning the tricks of my new oven and how to work with it.
My new stove made me think about how we, too, all have our foibles, our personal idiosyncrasies. And, much like with a new stove we learn how to navigate relationships without judging those little differences – sometimes. And, other times we fall into the trap of judging those differences when in reality they are the personal equivalent of a new stove. With my stove I am learning the little quirks, like it plays a song when it reaches the temperature I set. My old stove beeped. Different, but getting used to it. My front burner is now the super-burner and with my old stove it was the burner I used most frequently, just because I was in the habit of using it.
A new stove is easy to adapt to and yet we often stumble in relationships when faced with those little personal quirks. We judge them as being wrong or dumb or silly or annoying when they are simply a different way of dealing with things. As you begin to notice your judgments of those idiosyncrasies you will begin to be able to set them aside and get to the place of – “Isn’t that interesting how they do it differently than I do.” You may even explore those differences by genuinely asking why they do it that way. Not to challenge them, but to sincerely learn why they have such a different perspective or method of dealing with things.
My husband likes to squeeze the toothpaste tube from the bottom, flattening it as he goes. I like to squeeze from the middle and then when it’s almost gone, roll it up to get every last bit out. We resolved this difference by having two tubes of toothpaste – one for him and one for me. You know that there are some relationships that have been sunk by something as small as how you squeeze the toothpaste tube. They are foibles and not worth getting agitated about. It’s a simple fix.
I’ve had a good laugh with friends as I have explored foibles that people have noticed. Here are a few.
- Only drink soda (pop) out of a plastic cup, never a glass
- Turn your plate as you eat and only eat one thing at a time until it’s gone and then move on to the next type of food
- Put toilet paper over or put toilet paper under – some people even change it when they are visiting others if it’s wrong
- Calendars start on Sunday and go through Saturday
- Calendars start on Monday an go through Sunday
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