Last week I was thinking about “shoulds” and how they trip us up. When you say that you “should” do something it often sets up the knee-jerk reaction of “You can’t make me do it.” Even when we are the one saying we should do it! When you shift “should” to “could” you have many more choices. You begin to see that you could do A, or you could do B, or you could even do S. And, even if you choose exactly the same thing as when you were in the space of “should” you don’t have that reaction of “I don’t have to” and you can flow more freely toward what it is that you want.
The other interesting thing about “should” is that it is always attached to a judgment. It could be a judgment about yourself, someone else, or even an idea. When you let go of the judgment it is much easier to see options.
For example, when I think that I “should” lose weight I almost always sabotage myself and in fact gain a few pounds. When I approach weight loss from – I “could” lose a few pounds – I am more likely to make choices that support me achieving my target weight. The reason for that is that I have shifted from the mindset of “I should lose weight. I have to do it.” to “I could lose some weight and what choices might I make that will lead me to the result I’m looking for?” It’s a subtle, yet powerful difference. With the second mindset I don’t have to fight myself about it.
As you listen to yourself this week become aware of the number of times you say “should”. I think you will be surprised at how often it creeps into your vocabulary. Once you are aware of the “shoulds” you will be able to then shift to “could” and open up many choices for yourself.
What are your shoulds? How would it open up your life if you shifted them to “could?”
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