Yesterday I had a conversation with the checker at Trader Joe’s about win-win. And, I told him that win-win was one of my intentions for this year. It fell out of my mouth and yet it felt right. What if I framed things in the context of win-win? I wonder what I would change and how I would change.
So often in our culture we view things as either one up or one down, with a clear winner and a clear loser. What if we shifted to a more collaborative effort and win-win? Win-win means that it’s good for each person involved. For instance, if I buy a car and feel that I got a good deal and the salesperson feels that he/she received fair compensation, then it’s a win-win. If one person feels taken advantage of then it’s a win-lose. And, if both people feel that the deal was unfair then it’s a lose-lose.
The same is true with relationships. With a generosity of spirit, differences of opinion can be moved to a win-win where each person feels heard and that the compromises on each side created a workable and acceptable solution. This holds true for relationships at home and in the work setting.
A generosity of spirit and respect for the other person are often key in a win-win situation. Each person wants to be heard and considered and is open to listening to the other. And, when each person can walk away feeling good about the outcome, then it’s a win-win. Neither person is trying to pull one over on the other person or get the best deal at the expense of the other.
I love walking away from a “negotiation” feeling like it was a good and fair deal. The same is true for a conversation involving differences of opinion. I don’t like walking away feeling like I’ve given up more than I’ve gotten or that I’ve been attacked and not heard.
The conversation I had yesterday morning at Trader Joe’s was that I got what I came in for and it was only $8.00. I felt like I got a good deal, I had a very friendly exchange and it was a win-win. I’ll go back. I like spending time with people when it’s a win-win.
I am trusting my “gut” more and more. And, this year I am being intentional about win-win interactions. How can you shift an interaction so it becomes a win-win? What judgments can you let go of to create more space for yourself to remain open to possibilities? Can you shift your competitive nature a little bit to allow for win-win? If you create more win-win situations what will that do for you?
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